(Pen?)Ultimatum

I'm done.

I've made a lot of mistakes this year.

Tyler keeps telling me that even a bad relationship can be a good thing as long as you learn something from it. I've found out that it's still a bad relationship.

I kind of feel like if I had kept my distance a little here and tried a little harder there, maybe the ending wouldn't be what it is. But that wouldn't have been right, and I'm kidding with myself to think that any of my romantic dreams will ever happen. Love seems to always be laughably close to me, but never in my hand.

I don't know what God's will is. I haven't asked him in a while, but even if I did I'm not sure his answer would be loud enough to hear.

I'm tired of so much, and I haven't even started.